Woah it's getting interesting...
See what I meant when I said any attempt to discredit the all-powerful PAP will only backfire? Not only will you be served letters of demand (that you shut up now and apologise), the whole of Singapore will know that you have and that that you tried to avoid receiving those letters by pretending you were not at home (it is all in the papers, Chee!) And because you have made some very serious and false (only because 'false' rhymes with 'serious' and 'true' does not) allegations against the Lees (seriously, Goh would have been easier to deal), it has thus been decided by the PM that 'elections or no elections, I've to act swiftly' (read: 'those fucking bastards, I'm gonna nail them once and for all!') And this decision is solely made by himself, without his old man prodding his back ('asked if he was acting because MM Lee urged him to, PM Lee dismissed the suggestion') MM Lee, PM Lee, are they actually the same person?
And news flash: our opposition is not of the 'First World' standard! Does it surprise you? (Yeah, I thought they were pretty awesome too!) Okay here is how to run down (not with a car, you idiot!) the opposition, especially if you have the media behind your back/in your control.
1. Invite the opposition to play up one of your blunders, especially one which touches on health, pension or housing. But hey here is the catch: 'they can choose to attack the Government (I have no idea why it is in caps) and its handling of the NKF matter during the election campaign' but 'if you defame us, of course, then you have to take the consequences'. So the trick here is to criticise without making it sound like a criticism. But really, forget it, they have the best lawyers, any accusation made by the opposition can and will be twisted/interpreted as defamatory.
2. As the old adage goes: the best way to destroy your enemy is to destroy it from within. Make them believe that their leader is a desperado, who has nothing to lose and will stop at nothing to achieve his aims (destroying the PAP or be banished from this land forever, whichever happens first) Remind the rest that they have their families, their high-paying jobs (though not as HIGH-paying as the PAP candidates) and most importantly, their reputation with and without which the people will never vote for them. Yeah, supposedly good reputation means more housing upgrades.
3. Question/cast doubts upon the quality of the candidates fielded by the opposition and not be appreciative about the fact that they have managed to field any candidate AT ALL when 1) you have taken the creamest part of the crop 2) you coerce the rest not to join the opposition. Say things like it is good that you have finally found some GRADUATES (adding to the ranks of cabbies, fruit-sellers and naturalised Banglas that you currently have) but no, we are not really sure of 'the quality of their minds' (they may contain the same stuff you find in durian puffs, only less fresh or tasty, possibly from a cheaper variety) Oh and if they happen to find a lecturer (even if it is just a poly lecturer at a not so established poly), discredit this achievement on the fact that there are 'hundreds of lecturers around' and 'when PAP chooses from them, it does so very carefully' (read: Oh that Svlvia woman? Nay, she was booted out in Round 1 of our selections)
4. Feel sorry for the opposition because by fielding their candidates so late in the elections (due to the constraints as listed above), Singaporeans would not have enough time to 'size them up properly'. One of the PAP ministers who actually symphatize with/rub salt into the wounds of* the opposition was Defence Minister Teo who said 'It's unfortunate that they announce them so late, I hope Singaporeans have enough time to size them up properly'.
*Imagine his expression and cross the one that is not applicable
5. Claim that the opposition does not really offer anything new (what else can they offer? You've already stolen their idea of a Progress Package!) and appeal to the emotions of your voters by asking them whether they want somebody else who has not done it before versus you who have been doing it since 1390 BC.
#6. Wear garlands of orchids to 1) complement the blandness of your all white uniforms 2) promote the Integrated Resort that you are building which will probably adopt the Hawaiian theme
# optional and only if your uniforms are white, they are ugly on blue
Oh I am so enjoying this contest.
And news flash: our opposition is not of the 'First World' standard! Does it surprise you? (Yeah, I thought they were pretty awesome too!) Okay here is how to run down (not with a car, you idiot!) the opposition, especially if you have the media behind your back/in your control.
1. Invite the opposition to play up one of your blunders, especially one which touches on health, pension or housing. But hey here is the catch: 'they can choose to attack the Government (I have no idea why it is in caps) and its handling of the NKF matter during the election campaign' but 'if you defame us, of course, then you have to take the consequences'. So the trick here is to criticise without making it sound like a criticism. But really, forget it, they have the best lawyers, any accusation made by the opposition can and will be twisted/interpreted as defamatory.
2. As the old adage goes: the best way to destroy your enemy is to destroy it from within. Make them believe that their leader is a desperado, who has nothing to lose and will stop at nothing to achieve his aims (destroying the PAP or be banished from this land forever, whichever happens first) Remind the rest that they have their families, their high-paying jobs (though not as HIGH-paying as the PAP candidates) and most importantly, their reputation with and without which the people will never vote for them. Yeah, supposedly good reputation means more housing upgrades.
3. Question/cast doubts upon the quality of the candidates fielded by the opposition and not be appreciative about the fact that they have managed to field any candidate AT ALL when 1) you have taken the creamest part of the crop 2) you coerce the rest not to join the opposition. Say things like it is good that you have finally found some GRADUATES (adding to the ranks of cabbies, fruit-sellers and naturalised Banglas that you currently have) but no, we are not really sure of 'the quality of their minds' (they may contain the same stuff you find in durian puffs, only less fresh or tasty, possibly from a cheaper variety) Oh and if they happen to find a lecturer (even if it is just a poly lecturer at a not so established poly), discredit this achievement on the fact that there are 'hundreds of lecturers around' and 'when PAP chooses from them, it does so very carefully' (read: Oh that Svlvia woman? Nay, she was booted out in Round 1 of our selections)
4. Feel sorry for the opposition because by fielding their candidates so late in the elections (due to the constraints as listed above), Singaporeans would not have enough time to 'size them up properly'. One of the PAP ministers who actually symphatize with/rub salt into the wounds of* the opposition was Defence Minister Teo who said 'It's unfortunate that they announce them so late, I hope Singaporeans have enough time to size them up properly'.
*Imagine his expression and cross the one that is not applicable
5. Claim that the opposition does not really offer anything new (what else can they offer? You've already stolen their idea of a Progress Package!) and appeal to the emotions of your voters by asking them whether they want somebody else who has not done it before versus you who have been doing it since 1390 BC.
#6. Wear garlands of orchids to 1) complement the blandness of your all white uniforms 2) promote the Integrated Resort that you are building which will probably adopt the Hawaiian theme
# optional and only if your uniforms are white, they are ugly on blue
Oh I am so enjoying this contest.
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